...etc

Just briefly, I always seem to find I have the most interesting conversations about spirituality and faith with non-christian people.

Sharp knives

"Where is my faith? Even deep down ... there is nothing but emptiness and darkness ... If there be God—please forgive me. When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul ... How painful is this unknown pain—I have no Faith. Repulsed, empty, no faith, no love, no zeal, ... What do I labor for? If there be no God, there can be no soul. If there be no soul then, Jesus, You also are not true."

- Agnesë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (Mother Teresa)

Resurrection

To be honest I don't know what I'm doing here most of the time, or what I want, whether or not I have the discipline required of the spiritual life. But every time I engage with my spiritual beacons they draw me irresistibly, pull me into a sense of gravity which I can't resist.

I see it now: I have always been reluctant, I am still reluctant, not so much following as meandering along at my own pace along a very scenic route. Thoughts trigger a sense of excitement and anticipation, but most of the time I just want to have my cake and eat it, even though I don't have a sweet tooth.

Right now there are more questions than answers, they overwhelm me. But I realise I am better to ask them in company rather than in my own jaded presence.