Simple lessons

Living in the country, I am priveliged to share my surroundings with an myriad of different animals. To be more precise, I'd actually say it's a rather motley bunch of native and introduced species, those who reside here for agricultural purposes, and others, who like myself, have found themselves here mostly by chance and instinct. Most of the time they will be the only living things I interact with.

One of my favourites is the small Blue-Toungued Lizard who seems to migrate through the large cool concrete corridor that borders the courtyard, but seems to favour mostly the kitchen for the fruit I leave there for him.

Most of the time, our interaction consists primarily of me entering the kitchen, and him scuttling away frantically. But sometimes, if I am lucky, I will come to the kitchen and find him un-selfconsciously sunning himself in the random patches of sunlight that dot the wooden floor, neck up, eyes (presumably) closed and completely unaware of my presence. This morning he sat by the fridge watcing me curiously as I made a cup of tea. We appraised each other, I said hello.

I sometimes wonder about this flight instinct that animals have, and wonder if it is present in me a lot of the time, especially in the way I relate to God. As my little lizard friend scuttles beneath the fridge I try to reassure him that I am not a malevolent creature looking to eat him for dinner, to no avail. Whether or not it's an entirely reasonable assumption, I can just see God taking delight in my un-selfconscious experience of Him and then trying to reassure me as I run for cover when I suddenly become aware that He is present, ducking and weaving in the hope of avoiding what? Intimacy? Pain? Fear of rejection, retribution?

But these moments of curiosity, where flight is not the primary instinct give me hope. Through familiarity comes trust, and just as this morning, where the lizard and myself shared a brief moment of curiosity, so too am I growing less and less fearful of approaching my Father.


(Also, it must seem like I have a God complex or something, but I don't, I really don't! Maybe I'm just so selfish that the only way He can show me new things is from my inner experience.)